LIVING THE DREAM

I always thought that accomplishing a dream is a simple process, but this was before I accomplished any dreams. Now I know better. Every dream I have fulfilled has followed a set of stages, and these stages all have their own unique timing and characteristics that make up the lifecycle of a dream. If you want to live a dream, and not just to think about your dreams, be prepared for the stages below. (Note: if you want to prevent fatal collapse of your dreams, be sure to read stage #8).

1. The Desire. Every dream begins with something I desire. The reasons for these desires vary, and usually I don’t really know why they come. They are just things that I have a deep desire to do. I saw a movie of people snowboarding and I thought to myself “I really want to do that.” I fell in love with riding bikes growing up, so I thought that it would be cool to ride my bike across the country. I was into aquatic biology in school, and so I always wanted to scuba dive. The causes are varying, but the result is the same: the desire to DO something.

2. The Dreaming. Just as many seeds drift through the air on a spring day but only a few take root, so too does my mind have many ideas pass by but only a few take root in my soul. Many ideas and desires cross my mind, but few of these desires turn into dreams. The ideas and desires that turn into dreams are different. They momentarily catch my breath. They are so fresh and so different. The radical newness, vigor, and thrill of the dream make it catch hold. And once they catch hold, they can start to grow. This stage can be characterized by the intensity with which I desire a certain dream. If it has been five years since I have seen someone snowboarding, and the idea of snowboarding still catches my breath, it has become a dream. The desire has passed the test of time and the test of intensity. It is now a dream that I want to accomplish.

3. The Decision. I have thought about my dream, and now I decide to accomplish it. This is such a critical chasm in the lifecycle of the dream. It is by far the shortest (yet still most important) stage in the lifecycle. It appears to be very similar to the end of the Dreaming stage, but it is NOT the Dreaming stage. Notice that at the end of the Dreaming stage, I simply want to accomplish a dream. The Decision stage is the moment in which I decide to accomplish it. I have many dreams that I have written down, and countless others that I have thought about and have yet to write down, but every dream has its proper timing, and I don’t force it. When it becomes apparent that the timing is right and I have the guts, I pull the trigger. I make the decision to accomplish my dream.

4. The Honeymoon. Whenever I finally make the decision to accomplish a dream, I get so excited. I’m ecstatic. My brain just starts pumping ideas about what the experience will be like, who I’m going to visit, what I’m going to see. It is a massive visualization process. It is very similar to (so I’m told) a honeymoon. Here, the consummation of the dream and the soul occurs. It is as if my body and soul are preparing for the journey ahead, and it sinks deep within me. For some dreams, this honeymoon stage is short and sweet. For others, it is long and intense. Regardless, there is always an initial period of time after I have made the decision in which my mind and heart seek to get in sync with the dream and prepare it for the journey ahead, and I start to believe that nothing will stop me from fulfilling this dream. I will never try to bring a dream to completion that does not have the Honeymoon Stage.

5. The Preparation. There is always some preparation in accomplishing a dream. It might just be buying a flight or getting a new map, or as complex as planning a bike route across the country. The duration of this stage depends on the exact details of the dream, but it is characterized by my focus on the details. I’m excited, but I’m focused on getting the essential details planned out. I can’t go snowboarding if I have broken bindings, and I can’t go scuba diving in Mexico if I buy a plane ticket for the wrong date. This stage prevents such errors that will destroy the dream. Controlled enthusiasm combined with prudential preparation is what this stage is all about.

6. The First Taste. This is the beginning of the dream. Depending on the time span of the dream, this could be a few minutes or a few years. Learning to play the guitar was a very different dream from going scuba diving, but both dreams had a moment that was the first time I actually experienced the dream. It is usually awesome, but this stage can be subject to some emotional letdown. I planned on scuba diving for over 10 years, and yet when I first got in the water with scuba gear, it was kind of boring. In this stage, I finally realize the finer qualities of the experience, and the experience is always different from the idea, especially with the first try. But this is just the beginning, and I know there is so much more to come.

7. The Fulfillment. I had scuba dived for 6 days, and I was learning but not excessively enthusiastic about the sport. Then one day, we took the boat to a remote island of the coast. After seeing sea turtles and a billion fish I can’t even name because I have never seen them north of Mexico, we went to a remote fishing village that didn’t have electricity. They fixed us delicious lobster, fish, rice, tortillas, and “ceviche”. Our drinks were freshly squeezed fruit from a rare tree in the village. After the feast, we loaded our boat and headed home, watching the sun set on the ocean as we pulled into the dock. My dream to “Go Scuba Diving” had been fulfilled. Some dreams are hard to specify the exact moment in which they are accomplished, and I don’t count any dream as being fulfilled until I have felt that that original desire I had when the dream first began has been fulfilled. A dream is like a cup of desire longing to be filled, and it I don’t count a dream as being accomplished until the cup is overflowing.

8. The Regret. This stage is frequently neglected but is crucial to understand in order to avoid fatal collapse of the dream and to prevent the foolish notion that accomplishing dreams are for fools only. For almost every dream I have accomplished, at some point, I regretted my dream. I was in the middle of the ocean in Mexico, freezing to the core, swimming in cloudy water, I had a terrible headache, and I was so nauseous that I thought I was going to puke while 80 feet under water. At that moment, I not only regretted my dream, I was mad for even trying. For two months prior to riding our bikes across the country, I wanted to do anything to get out of it. I remember telling my mom, “If there was ANY way for me to not go on this cross-country bike trip without letting down a lot of people, I would do it.” I have found that the bigger the dream, the more intense and prolonged this stage will be. This regret sometimes can even occur after the dream, if only briefly. I get mad at myself for spending too much money, or I wish I didn’t spend so much time because I have other things I need to do. This is the only stage that can occur at any point during the lifecycle, and it is essential for me to prepare psychologically for this phase. When I was regretting scuba diving, I didn’t freak out and think that my dream had been a waste because of momentary regret while feeling nauseous 80 feet under water. I just knew that this was a natural part of the lifecycle, and I needed to be prepared to monitor the dream accordingly.

A final note: be careful what you desire. I found that, in this world, I get 99% of what I wish (and work) for. My desires become my dreams, and my dreams that I work for have defined my life. I am cautious to guard my desires and to make sure that they have fertile soil for bearing fruit, and you can’t have fertile soil with a bunch of weeds choking the plants. My sister has a quote on her wall that says “Don’t follow your heart. Guide it.” Guarding your heart is essential to making sure that your dreams do not become nightmares.(You know those people in movies who spend their whole life working for something and then, at the end of their life, they realize that it was all for waste? That's what we are talking about here.)

But with a guarded heart and the courage to follow your dreams, you can do more than just “change” the world. You can change the world for the better. And every dream fulfilled, if properly rooted, will do just that.