MEMOIR OF A SOUTH AMERICAN SOCCER GAME

It is amazing what you learn when you are by yourself.

A few summers ago, I went to Santiago, Chile to improve my Spanish and to visit a foreign country. There were many things that I wanted to do in Chile, but I was most excited about the opportunity to go to a big-time soccer game.

I had been told by other Chileans that soccer in Chile is "just not as exciting" compared to soccer in other South American countries, but after attending this game, I realized that South Americans have a radically different understanding of the word "excitement".

Allow me to set the scene. I am about 2 miles from the stadium, and my first sign of "crowd enthusiasm" was a group of 30 Colo-Colo fans. At first, I just thought they were loud and excited and simply thought that throwing toilet paper and paper confetti EVERYWHERE was a good idea, 2 miles away from the stadium. Then, when one of the buses refuses to pick them up and tried to drive right by, they started spitting at the bus, kicking it, and throwing their whole wads of toilet paper at the windshield. Luckily the light turned green before they could do too much damage, and it sped off.

I knew it was only going to get more interesting from there.

So I decide I will just walk the 2 miles to the stadium because the bus system seems to be more hazardous than helpful. I get about a half-mile away from the stadium, and I can hear faint cries. As I get closer and closer, I hear Warrior Drums and people chanting. By the time I reached the outer walls of the stadium, it was louder than an Irish touchdown at Notre Dame Stadium. Upon arrival, I also notice the most-intense security force I have ever seen. There were TONS of armored vehicles that would make any SWAT team proud to own, and there were hundreds of security guards. And these were not your regular security guards. They were covered in head-to-toe with armor. Each carried a gun, a baton, and a riot shield. Let’s just say, after a while, I was glad they were there.

I get into the stadium 30 minutes before the start, and it is already packed, and the fans have their chants going. Each side has a massive drum (sorry Purdue, you do not have the worlds largest drum because you obviously have not seen the drums they bring to South American Soccer games), and there is one person who banged on the drum THE ENTIRE GAME! It reminded me of the drum in the "gallows", dictating the pace of the crowd. It was crazy.

And then, after 30 minutes of yelling, the teams came out. These 20,000 people (a modest number for a South American Soccer game) put the fans of EVERY College and Professional team in the US to shame. They were nuts. AND IT DID NOT STOP! (You should watch this video because it perfectly captures the experience. The firecrackers and saturn missiles don't go off until 40 seconds into the video, so be patient. Also, this was the side of U. Catolica, which is more laid back than the Colo Colo fans). I was crying laughing when, 40 minutes into the game, they had not stopped yelling and chanting. And it was just as loud as when the teams came out at the beginning. They were jumping up and down, screaming, and foaming at the mouth for every chant. Physically, I truly do not know how they did it (just watch that video clip again and ask yourself if you could do that for 2 hours. South Americans apparently do it every time there is a soccer game.)

Who cares about the game. Let’s get to the good stuff. I am on the side of "U. Catolica", and U. Catolica won. Pandemonium breaks out. In Chile, the losing team has to leave the stadium first, and everyone from U.Catolica is chanting their version of "Drive Home Safely". I am laughing hysterically because EVERY fan from U.Catolica stayed, even the moms and their little kids. Finally, after their side empties, I figure people will start leaving, but they don't, so I decide I am just going to leave. I get down to the exit and, lo and behold, there are 50 Armored Security Guards preventing me from leaving. Apparently, they do not let the fans leave at the same time! 50 minutes after the end of the game, and 30 minutes after the other side had emptied, they finally let us go.

I am ready for a nice, calm stroll back home. I get about a half mile away from the stadium (reminder: this is one hour and thirty minutes since the end of the game), and I see some Colo-Colo fans. Luckily, I was walking by myself (and wearing a brown flannel that was the only possible neutral color I could wear), but there was a pack of U.Catolica fans about 50 feet behind me. Suddenly, these Colo-Colo fans start yelling in Spanish, and I notice "Hey, they have huge, massive rocks in their hands." Sure enough, they start running at the U.Catolica fans and throwing, as accurately and as hard as possible, their huge rocks. I even saw a mom with her younger son, encouraging him to not throw them too hard! Luckily, they missed by a mile, and the U.Catolica fans obviously had been to a South American soccer game in their past. I could not decide what was funnier: Crazy Colo-Colo fans trowing rocks, or the calmness and sense of "just another game" that was exuded by the U.Catolica fans while rocks were being thrown at them.

I eventually got home, tiredly sat down, and knew, finally, I had become South American.