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Dear Corporate America,

Please stop being fake.

Please stop making fake advertising.

Please stop making fake products.

Please stop hiring fake employees who pretend to care about me but really don’t.

Please stop faking a smile when I enter your store.

Please stop making fake customer service call centers that send me to people who do not care about what I need or want.

Please stop pretending you care about something besides your company.

Please stop sending me updates about how you are donating 0.0001% of your profits to preserve one acre of old-growth forests in Mongolia.

Please stop sending me fake mail about fake products that do not help me or anyone I know.

Please stop making fake commercials using fake people (also called “actors”) in fake situations talking about your fake products.

Please stop making implicit and explicit promises that you can’t deliver.

From this moment forth, the only companies who have permission to speak to me and advertise to me are Qdoba, Dell, and ServerRack.

For everyone else, I mute you when your commercial is on. I delete your emails. I ignore your “tweets”. I ignore your friend request on facebook. I throw away your mail. Somebody in your marketing department may be telling you, “even if we are making the customer mad, that is good, because at least we are getting noticed. At least we are grabbing their attention in an attention-deficit world.” Well please inform this employee that I was not a part of their study, because I stop using your product if it is fake. I stop using your services if they don’t work. I stop giving you my money if you don’t help me.

Oh, so you will offer me the first two issues free? I get a complimentary sample? I don’t want it, because as soon as I give you information, I lose. You are just going to send fake mail about fake products, and I’m tired of fake companies.

Every teacher has a sixth sense: we sense things that are fake. We know fake answers, fake excuses, and fake complaints (“No Billy, you really DON’T have to go to the bathroom”).

I am a teacher, and I call your bluff.

Please stop being fake.

Please become real.

Sincerely,
Tony Hollowell

P.s. For follow up reading and reflection, please read this article by Seth Godin about Responsibility. You owe it to your company.